One thing you get good at when you’re poor is problem solving. And creative problem solving. As a teenager in poverty unable to keep up with consumer peers I went out wearing clothes I’d made from an old table cloth, my friend impressed was soon wearing her pillow case as a skirt. It was the 80’s and anything went. I remember having no shoes and trying to make some out of paper machier, I was laughed at but I was desperate and desperately seeking a solution to the problem of having no shoes except for a pair of Adidas kick trainers I wore for school as well as everything else.  Back then most people only owned one pair of shoes, cobblers existed and repaired them time and again.

I own two pairs of jeans, both about 3 years old so I thought they’d just stretched and gone baggy with age and wear as I have them on most days when I leave the house but now I realise I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, unintentionally. I love food, it was one of the few pleasure’s remaining, I was a size 12 and happy at that, I am now a size 10 and I don’t want to be any slimmer.

As these few months have been incredibly tough financially I documented everything that went into my digestive system and how much it cost and how many calories I consumed, which was an average of 1,200 per day, since then it’s probably remained around the same, may be a bit less, I’ve not suffered hunger at all and my appetite is a lot less and food is a lot less pleasurable, I’ve not been very active either so I’m not really burning calories.

So how do I go about sewing the rest of my jeans with no cotton? No money to buy any, I could wait 9 days until I get access to some money and then buy cotton but my wardrobe of clothes is very limited, I’ve sewn these today because they’re the only decent clothes I have to be seen in public and they’re no longer decent as they’re literally falling go ff me. But that’s one problem, another is my pc monitor has started to flicker and black out every few seconds, I think it’s almost dead, damn, there’s definitely no money to replace a monitor, ffs!! God only knows how I’ll go about solving that problem but I most probably will (sell my soul to the devil, there’s little left I own to sell and nothing of value), even the sewing machine is borrowed.

Damn this fecking motitor is going to give me an epileptic fit ffs, what the hell! Planned obsolencence it’s a fecking joke. That sewing machine made in the 1940’s is as good today as i…..  Damn that’s the point my monitor died. Having to finish this off on my phone.. Fuckinghell now I’ve lost the use of my pc.. Sigh! That really is my last remaining pleasure apart from the roof over my head.

If you have a spare one please let me know or please donate a £1 on About Me page. 😢